I'm not really sure how to fight this. Let me just say that I rarely listen to country music. Not that I hate it, but it just isn't what I care to listen to.
I'm a native Texan. I was born in Groves, Texas, which is surrounded on three sides by Port Arthur, and is about 12 miles South of Beaumont. Granted, it's near the Louisiana border, and because of the oil refineries, it really was quite a melting pot in the 1930s. Still, I don't think I'm that different than other Texans.
When I was in high-school, I started wearing "Cowboy Boots." One thing I liked about them was that they were different... hardly anyone dressed that way. But I listened to Peter Frampton, Paul McCartney, and Elton John... not George Jones.
Then came disco, followed by the death of disco and the rise of the "Urban Cowboy." John Travolta appeared at a Bee-Gees concert I attended at Houston's "Summit" (Home of the Rockets!) in 1979, and his reason for being in Houston was on-location filming of the movie that turned Texas into "Cowboy Heaven."
But this is 1996, and Gilley's and Johnny Lee's have both disappeared from the Pasadena, Texas landscape. Kids in Houston listen to Hootie and the Blowfish, Pearl Jam, and other great music that thankfully supplanted the trash from the 80s.
I will admit that there are way too many pick-up trucks roaming our freeways, but since the 4 of the top 5 selling vehicles in the US are trucks, it can't be just here.
So why do people want to perpetuate the myth that almost disappeared in the 70s that lots of "cowboys" live here? Even George Bush, when he was President, put on a small rodeo for visiting Japanese businessmen and politicians, followed by a performance featuring singers from the "Grand Ole Opry." The Grand Ole Opry is based in Nashville, and Nashville isn't in Texas!
Now what is happening? Well, so far this year there have been 29 bank robberies in Houston. The FBI is worried. (Please note that Chuck Norris is not on the case, and I haven't heard a word about the Texas Rangers, other than the ones in Arlington who nearly made it to the World Series this year.) The TV news people are saying it's like "the old West."
So Mr. Bank Robber Number Twenty-nine took the cue yesterday. He was wearing a suit... a business suit I presume. He was also wearing cowboy boots and a cowboy hat! I suppose he figured he needed to look the part of a rich Texas bank-robber. He even told the teller to "Stick-em up!"
This is the last straw. All of you people need to know, especially you people who live here, that Texas is one of the United States. Pace Picante Sauce is made in San Antonio, but it's a division of the Campbell's Soup company. Houston is home to the "Pennsylvania" oil company -- Pennzoil. Texaco, or the "Texas Company" as it was called when my Dad went to work there, is based in White Plains, New York.
Now I hear that the "Dallas" TV show is going back into production. Larry Hagman is originally from Corpus Christi, but some California acting coach had to teach him how to talk like "J. R. Ewing," because they couldn't find any real Texans that sounded like that! Major Nelson on "I Dream of Jeannie;" that's the real Texas accent.
Well, Ima gonna get offa my ha-horse now; y'all come down an' see us -- okay?
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