Well, it's the twelfth day of Thanksgiving.
(Pause for effect...)
You probably think I'm going to tell you that you're thinking that I've got my holidays mixed up, but I'm not, because I don't think that's what you are thinking. I think you are just wondering what sort of strange idea I've come up with.
Well, it isn't strange: It makes perfect sense. Every year we hear the song about the twelve days of Christmas, and every year someone on the television news has a heartwarming story explaining how Christmas used to be celebrated over a period of twelve days. Every year they have to explain the twelve days, because we never listen to the story long enough to understand it, or else we don't care.
But the twelve days of Thanksgiving is simple, and once I explain it, you'll never forget it. You may have thought of this yourself!
The first day of Thanksgiving is the third Thursday in November, one week before the Congressionally recognized "Thanksgiving Day." This is the day that people in offices all across the U.S. break for lunch early and eat lots of food in the fourth floor conference room, then spend the afternoon napping in their offices.
The celebration continues the next day, because there was waaaaaaaay too much food the first day, and now the refrigerator is full. The third and fourth day are the weekend, and everyone continues to be thankful, not only for the feast of the last two days, but because they know that they are going to get some time off the next week.
Monday and Tuesday, the fifth and sixth days, are days when you are thankful that you didn't have to pack a lunch, because there is still food in the 'fridge at work. On the seventh day, you are thankful that you could pack a lunch, because you need a break from leftover turkey, especially since the next day is the official holiday and you are going to start over. Many offices let the employees leave after noon on Wednesday, the seventh day of Thanksgiving.
The fourth Thursday of November is, of course, the official day of Thanksgiving in the U.S., and the eighth day of traditional Thanksgiving. This day and the ninth day are spent at your relative's home and your in-laws home, usually on alternate years; and the tenth, eleventh, and twelfth days are spent finishing up the leftovers and beginning your Christmas shopping and decorating.
On the first day of Thanksgiving this year, the bosses (secretaries) in my department had a good idea. Each person had the choice of bringing an appetizer or dessert, or contributing $5.00 toward the purchase of the entrees. The entrees were fried turkey, which is a great way to cook turkey (not greasy at all, but not dried out either), and of course the traditional beef brisket, which is traditional because it is served at all occasions. If you haven't had Texas beef brisket, you need to get down here and try some. It's hard to imagine anything tastier or more satisfying.
For my part, I have two appetizers that I like to cook. Last year, I cooked the stuffed olives, which involve Spanish olives, Old English Sharp Cheddar cheese spread, and Tobasco. These are rather hot, and really delicious.
So this year it was time for the Spicy Meatballs. I love to cook these. The smell of the onions and bell peppers in the frying pan always reminds me of the smell of the food at the State Fair in Dallas. I haven't been in eight or nine years, but whenever I cook the meatballs, I always promise myself that I'm going to take the kids out of school next October and go up there for the weekend.
Unfortunately, when mixing the ingredients this year, I left out one very important ingredient. The recipe calls for one egg.
Eggs provide something very important in recipes: Cholesterol.
We all know that cholesterol is sticky stuff that coats our arteries, but in food, cholesterol is sticky stuff that holds everything else together. So, lacking cholesterol, the "meatballs" were really just "meat and other stuff loosly packed."
I did manage to get enough chunks of beef and other ingredients to stay together long enough to put them in a dish to take the next day, and they must have been okay, because by the time I got through the line (that's a "queue" for you English folk) there was only one left.
I learned a valuable lesson, though: Next time, I won't quit reading from the recipe until I get to the bottom. (I'm a computer programmer, instructions are my life! How could I have made this error?)
Well, now it's time for the next holiday. Is December 25th the first, or twelfth day of Christmas?
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