Coffee

Today, as every morning, I carried a cup of coffee in the car so that I could drink it on the way to work. There are usually several accidents on Houston freeways each morning, and studies have shown that 4 out of 5 of these accidents could have been avoided if the driver would have taken a moment to get a cup of coffee before leaving the house.

At least, if they had ever included the coffee theory when making a study of accidents, that's what studies would have shown.

I had an accident the other day on the way to work. It was the typical Houston freeway accident, occurring at less than 5 mph, causing minimal damage to the vehicles, and extending the backup another 10 miles toward Baytown. I was the 5th of the 5 accidents in the studies, though. This accident could only have been avoided if I had had a second cup of coffee that morning.

When I got to work today, as every morning, I set my briefcase and notebook PC down and picked up my coffee mug so that I could get my second cup of coffee for the day. And today, for the second day in a row, there was a fresh pot of coffee in the orange pot. Those of you who drink coffee understand that "orange" is the color of Sanka. Sanka = decaf.

My first inclination was to determine whether this was actually decaf, or if someone made real coffee it in the fake-coffee pot. Peering into the trashcan, I see only the package for the real coffee, so I conclude that it is safe to drink.

Now you may think my use of the word "safe" is an attempt at humor. Please refer to the first paragraph. Four of five office accidents could have been avoided if employees would have taken the time to get a cup of coffee before they began working. Among the potential accidents are nodding off and banging your head on the desk, and the worst possible office accident, getting fired for the poor quality work you produced, the result of not being alert. (Mr. Albert Long, my band director at Port Neches-Groves high school, always warned his band to be alert, because the world needs more lerts.)

The question that comes to mind is: "why was there real coffee in the decaf pot?" It may be that the person making it was a new coffee drinker, and didn't know the difference. Perhaps they were colorblind, because, not having had enough coffee yet, orange and brown seemed very similar.

More likely, they probably figured that everyone would automatically know that it was the real stuff. After all, who would make decaf in the morning?

You have probably wondered aloud (all coffee drinkers have) why dry coffee smells so good, yet brewing coffee smells merely "good," and the final product really doesn't taste so great. One reason it doesn't taste that good is that you didn't pay mega-bucks for it. Gourmet coffee tastes almost as good as it smells. You aren't getting your employer to buy any of that, though.

There is one time that any coffee seems to taste really wonderful, though. After you've had a large meal, you can have a cup of decaf, and it'll leave you feeling satisfied. I almost wonder if it helps your digestion or something, because it tastes so good, your body must be telling you that you did the right thing.

So remember, brown pot in the morning, and orange pot after supper.

And watch out for the green pot: I think that one's environmentally friendly.